What Went Wrong When Children Stop Sharing Their Problems?

All parents want their children to share their problems with their parents. However, many children do not share the same desire. Why such a situation occurs?

It is often very difficult for children to raise their problems with their parents. If what they get in return for their parents are nothing more than irrelevant, and sometimes inappropriate responses and instructions, the children feel that this is not worth their trouble to be opened with their parents. Also, sometimes the answers are so excluding the children they are not only against-productive, they can be very damaging for the development of their children.

We, as parents, must understand why give advice without conducting a thorough understanding is not useful. We must learn to respond to our children's problems so that we empower them to solve their own problems.

We will now consider the reasons to give advice to our children as usaul is not helpful to our children.

We assume that we know what are the problems and forget to listen carefully to better understand the problems. Accordingly, due to a lack of knowledge of real problems, the advice we so easily provide will not be relevant and will not solve the problems.

Without enough poll, May we not our children understand the viewpoints and perspectives on what the trouble. As a result we do not provide solutions that our children need. When our children share of conflicts with their friends, we early May to inform them on how to stay away from these friends while May be made to feel guilty for not treating their friends and wish to acquire the courage to apologize to their friend. Accordingly, we May make further damage the relationship they try hard to save.

In our desire and haste to provide advice, we forget to extend empathy to our children for the problems they face. Our children do not feel connected to us, and they May whatever the feeling that we provide suggestions have no weight on their problems and are unlikely to be accepted.

As we are a dishing advice, if the advice proves to be correct, the credit goes to us and not our children. On the other hand, if the notice is taken and implemented, but not to be a success, it is taken from our children's fault that the opinion is likely to have been one who has been crowned with success when it is followed by another person. In this case, it is losing a situation of losing our children because if the notice is successful, we claim the credit and if it is a failure, it is a reflection of our children incompetence and stupidity .

We take the position of experts who have the knowledge and wisdom and we are talking about when we give advice, instead talk as equals. We treat our children as if they have neither the knowledge nor the skills to deal with problems. It is a one-way traffic and likely to be felt by our children because they think we treat them as if they have nothing good to share with us.

We give the message that we believe that our children can develop their own solutions. This exclusion is for our children and will do much harm to our children's development.

We do not show appreciation for the efforts of our children had to solve their own problems. This will discourage them from taking great efforts in developing their own solutions and take the necessary measures to resolve problems when other problems arise in the future.

May They just want to share their problems with us and do not want or need advice from us all. Whatever advice we provide May not only unnecessary, but harmful to our children self-esteem.

We will now discuss what we will take into consideration when we respond to our children sharing problems they face.

How are you understand their problems and help your children develop a better understanding of their own problems so that they can develop their own solutions? As parents, we encourage our children to connect the various aspects of the problem that the difficulty to help them have a good knowledge of the issues that trouble and encourage them to develop their own solutions.

How are you enough empathy with your children so that they feel fully connected with you just to express their true feelings and thoughts and be receptive wisdom that you May to propose? Our children want to feel that we are there with them - not only physically but also emotionally. We want them to think that we feel how they feel. It is vital that we do not denigrate their feelings.

How are you doing situations "win-win" for them? That is, how are you encouraging them to develop their own solutions and they take credit when they come in and take credit for the efforts made at their failure? If they are the ones that come with the solutions they should be those who claim the credit when they succeed. On the other hand, if they fail to provide encouragement they have made efforts which are themselves very admirable. When they fail, encourage them to stand up to examine the reasons for the failure and try again.

The last but certainly not least the question is: "What can you do to make them feel that it is always good for them to bring their own problems for you?"

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About the author
Jacob Gan Ph.D. (Michigan) has more than 20 years of teaching experience in a university and 8 years of activity and / or industrial experience after graduation. He has written for http://succezz.com, http://JacobGan.com, http://JacobEducation.com, http://DemystifyCancer.com, http://understanding-orchids.com, http:// motivate2success. http://JacobLearning.com com and. He hosts http://Jacob.TheeLearningcentre.com, a portal for online learning.